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September 20, 2022 - No Comments!

Trauma-Informed Care

Being in Thailand helped me to understand a little bit more about trauma and the importance of trauma-informed care. I’m not a social worker or trained in any of that, but I think I understood for the first time, what trauma really is.

According to Peter Levine, “Trauma is in the nervous system, not in the event.”.

In his work “the body keeps the score”, Bessel van der kolk writes that “being traumatised means continuing to organise your life as if the trauma were still going on–unchanged and immutable–as every new encounter or event is contaminated by the past.”

I was really struck by this when I was in Thailand. Previously I had understood trauma as an event, but rather, it is the imprint of that event living inside the individual, carried within their nervous system.

Brandon, who oversees our vocational training in Thailand shared with me his heart for the young people coming through ZOE. I was moved by the intent behind the training. It provides young people with skills that they can take with them, but there is always this therapeutic aspect underlying the training that really speaks to their trauma.

For many of the kids who come to ZOE, their only experience of business and working is being exploited for someone else’s profit.

Vocational training flips this on its head. Vocational training is all about agency and self-determination… it's built on the knowledge that every child is unique and has different needs, dreams, goals and passions! The aim at the moment is to expose children who come to ZOE to as many skills and opportunities as possible. We run many courses including agricultural studies - so, running our pig farm, woodworking and construction, sewing and fashion design, nail painting, hairdressing, hospitality, cooking and baking, computer skills, multimedia and photography, art, design and even a little bit of electrical and mechanical engineering!

When kids come to ZOE and take part in our vocational training program, our team will ask them all about what they’re interested in and what they want to learn and see what we can offer them. Brandon told me about one girl who came to ZOE recently and discovered that she had an amazing passion and skill for woodworking! She wasn’t going to be staying at ZOE long and was preparing to go back to her family, but she really wanted to make something that she could take home with her. So she made this beautiful high table with stools and she was able to take it back to her family. And this is what many young people want - they want to make something that’s theirs, that they can take back with them, a new skill, or something tangible - something that reminds them of what they’ve learnt and the skills that they have. It reminds them that they’re not a victim of their past, but a survivor, who can go forward to make, create and flourish.

-Hudson

September 2, 2022 - No Comments!

fair go

National Child Protection Week, 2022

“Every Child in Every Community Needs a Fair Go”

National Child Protection Week (4-10 September) is an annual event. This year’s theme ‘Every child, in every community, needs a fair go’ aims to spread the message that to treat all of Australia’s children fairly, we need to make sure every family and community has what kids need to grow up safe and supported. (www.napcan.org.au)

At ZOE we have come up with 8 ways that you can help keep children in your community safe.

1. Educate yourself about the signs of child abuse, neglect and exploitation.

Ask yourself, would you know the signs of a child experiencing violence, neglect or abuse? Could you recognise behaviours associated with child sexual abuse such as grooming - whether it be online or in person? For anyone who has contact with children, it is important to be able to know the signs in order to recognise any one of these issues, if you see it.

It’s common to think that child abuse or exploitation is only perpetrated by a weird or scary stranger. However, research shows that children are mostly abused by someone they know (a relative, family friend, teacher, coach or community member) and it is often someone they trust.

Child sexual abuse does not discriminate. It happens in all cultures and in all sorts of families. Both girls and boys, of any age, are at risk.

2. (Parents) Talk with your children.

Not once. Not twice. All the time! Make it a natural and normal occurrence to chat about staying safe. Just like you are continually reinforcing to them how to stay on the road, near a fire, around water, and on the internet; make ‘staying safe’ from sexual abuse and exploitation just as much a part of your everyday conversations.

Sadly, these issues are more common than you may think. The ACCCE received more than 36,000 reports of child sexual exploitation in the 2021-22 financial year. (https://www.accce.gov.au/resources/research-and-statistics)

And these are just the ones that were reported!

3. Raise awareness in your community.

We all have a responsibility to look out for the children in our community and speak up when we see behaviour that suggests a child could be unsafe. We must not ignore our concerns or red flags. There are many types of child abuse and neglect, but the six main subtypes are:

physical child abuse
emotional child abuse
neglect
child sexual abuse
exposure to family violence
grooming

Some instances of child abuse will fall across multiple categories. For instance, family violence may involve physical, sexual, and/or emotional child abuse (www.education.vic.gov.au/)

4. Support organisations that help.

There are many Australian organisations that are working towards keeping children safe. By supporting them, you are helping to strengthen their efforts. Support might look like sharing their resources, promoting them on your social media, engaging a speaker to come and share at your school, workplace or sports club, talking to others about the services they provide, or giving to them financially to enable them to continue their services.

5. Monitor your children's internet usage.

Internet safety is a whole topic in and of itself, but again, just like you make it your job to get to know your children’s friends and community in real life, so too is it essential to know who your children are interacting with online. By being engaged and interested in what they’re doing on social media, in their games and chats, you are in a much better position to notice if something rings an alarm bell. Keep the line of communication open and let them know that nothing is too bad or serious to talk about and that they will not be in trouble by reporting to you if something doesn’t feel right.

6. Recognise the complexities faced by vulnerable children.

One group of children who are considered vulnerable are those in foster care. During 2020–21, more than 178,800 Australian children received child protection services. In June 2021, more than 46,200 children were in out-of-home care. (https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/child-protection/child-protection-australia-2020-21/contents/about)

Children in out-of-home care are already considered a “vulnerable population” who face additional medical, psychological, and social risks. A safe community is necessary to protect them from further harm and support them according to their immediate and future needs. Maybe you don’t feel cut out to be a foster carer yourself but what about offering other support to a family who is already helping a child in care? Sometimes just cooking a meal, delivering groceries, assisting with homework or helping tidy up their yard makes the world of difference!

7. Share what you learn with others.

We can never raise too much awareness or overly discuss these issues. Do the people in your circle of influence know what you know about the signs of child abuse, neglect and exploitation? If not, how can you start having conversations with them? What about your mother’s group, book club, church friends, sports club or relatives? The more people who are informed, the more our communities can become supportive and safe environments for children to live in.

8. Report any concerning behaviour to authorities.

“If physical or behavioural indicators lead you to suspect that a child has or is being abused, or is at risk of abuse, regardless of the type of abuse, you must respond as soon as practicable” (www.education.vic.gov.au/school/teachers/health/childprotection)

“There is no information too small or insignificant. Something that may appear small or insignificant could prove vital to a police investigation.” www.accce.gov.au/report

If you’re a parent seeking to know and understand more about the topics covered in this blog, please reach out to us so that we can help direct you to more resources or plan for a parenting/ community information session to help facilitate questions/concerns as well as further training on these topics. info@gozoe.org.au

September 1, 2022 - 2 comments

RED FLAGS

… can be indicators that there's a problem.

Have you ever been in a situation where you’ve experienced a serious ‘pause’ about a situation, or a person? This is a red flag and it could be an indicator that there is something not right. As parents, and community members, we should take notice of ‘red flag’ moments, instead of just ignoring them, because sometimes these ‘little things’ add up to reveal a much bigger picture. Reporting red flag behaviour could be the very thing that protects a child from danger.

Let’s take a moment to talk about red flags in regard to child safety by looking at what ‘grooming’ behaviour might look like.

NOTE: Grooming can happen face to face, or online.

Recognising grooming behaviour is challenging. One of the difficulties, when it happens face to face, is that the groomer may actually be a well-known or well-liked person in the community. As a result, it’s easy for both the young person and the community, to trust them. “Even experts on the issue who have interviewed convicted child molesters remark on how ‘likable’ they appear.” (https://themamabeareffect.org/red-flags-of-child-predators)

And, the groomer’s social influence skills make the child feel like no one would believe them anyway if they were to report what was happening.

Take a read of this real-life story below that one of our ZOE team members experienced when she was younger. Thankfully she responded to the “red flags” as an indication that something wasn't right.

“When I was a teenager, I moved to a little town in regional Victoria. I started working at a small cafe and quickly began connecting with customers and with the wider community.

One customer who started coming in was an older man in his late sixties or early seventies - let’s call him “John”. He asked me about my story and how I came to move to this town and he quickly took a liking to me. I’ve always gotten on well with the elderly, and so I thought that this was totally innocent. In fact, his over-the-top and bubbly nature made me think of him as just a sweet and excitable old man, completely harmless. I actually thought to myself that he might have some mental illness.

John started frequenting the cafe.

He would chat to the other girls who worked at the cafe, but it was clear that I was his “favourite”. He would always read a newspaper in the cafe, and I remember him calling over one of the other girls to ask them if they thought that the photo of a young girl in the newspaper looked like me.

He began asking lots of questions. His behaviour and intrigue in me started to intensify.

Rather than coming into the cafe during peak times, he started showing up at the cafe right on close. I’d be stacking the chairs out the front of the cafe, and he would pull up in his car. I remember him jumping out of his car and quickly rushing to help me bring the tables and chairs indoors, despite me telling him that I could do my job by myself.

On another occasion, it was closing time and he was the last person left in the cafe. He came up to pay for his coffee and cake and then tried to give me some cash. He said it was to pay for my train ticket. I refused even though he was quite pushy about it.

I told my good friend, who used to work in the Australian Defence Force, about John and how he’d most recently started offering me money for the train.

My friend quickly understood that this was predatory behaviour and told me he thought that John was grooming me. At first, I came to John’s defence! He was just a quirky old man who wanted to help out the young, new girl in town.

But John’s behaviour continued to confirm my friend’s suspicions, and I started to feel targeted and unsafe. John would continue to show up at the cafe to compliment me and talk with me. He’d continue to come to the cafe right on close when our chef had already left and it was just him and I. He asked me if I wanted a ride home, which confirmed that his behaviour was not normal and unsafe. On this occasion, I took down his number plate.

I remember feeling scared when I was alone with him. I lived very close to the cafe, above a strip of shops, so I remember feeling worried that I would be an easy target to follow.

My friend decided that he wanted to see John in action, and wanted to make a point to John that I was not some isolated and vulnerable young woman, but that I had older friends who were looking out for me.

So, we agreed that the next time John showed up at the cafe, I would text my friend, and he would come over.

John came over one afternoon for cake and coffee. He was his usual extroverted, bubbly, and theatrical self. He gave me his usual attention, that is until my friend and his mate walked in the door and hugged me. John’s demeanour completely changed within an instant. When I saw him turn from an outgoing, almost unhinged personality, to a man completely still who would not look up from his newspaper or acknowledge me, I knew that he was not to be trusted. He quickly paid for his food with another waitress and left without even so much as a glance in my direction.

Two other instances stood out to me.

Once, on my day off, I was walking down the street when I realised that John and, who I assumed was his wife/partner, were walking in my direction. When we passed each other, John did not even look at me. How strange, I thought. If there was nothing sinister going on, John would have greeted me in the street and willingly introduced me to his partner. And yet he pretended that I was just a stranger walking past.

The next instance still sends chills down my spine. I lived in a unit above a strip of shops, where I entered my door from downstairs, which was backing onto a side street carpark. One day I headed outside and I stood still in my tracks. One of the distinguishing features of John is that he would wear a very heavy and strong cologne. It was pungent. Even after he’d left the cafe, I would still be able to smell it. It was always strong, and it was a scent that I had never smelt before. When I went outside my house that day, that same strong and unusual cologne scent was lingering around.

I’ll never know what John’s intentions were. However disturbing the experience was for me, I am thankful that I was able to learn a lot from it.

I learnt about grooming behaviour. John had identified me, and perceived me, as vulnerable. He tried to gather information about my personal circumstances. He identified what he thought could be my needs, like money for public transport, and tried to make me take his money. He’d try to do my jobs for me, and would even offer to drive me home. He would do these things when I was alone.

But John never got to exploit me because I had a friend who called it out for what it was and came to my side. If it wasn’t for my friend, I think the wool would have remained over my eyes for a lot longer. My experience says to me that as a community, we need to be more aware of what grooming behaviour looks like and we need to be able to call it out.”

How to spot it! Grooming behaviour might look like:

Special attention, outings, and gifts
Spending time alone with the child/young person to gain trust. More than 80% of sexual abuse cases occur in isolated, one-on-one situations (www.d2l.org)
Isolating the child/young person from others
Meeting the child/young person’s unmet needs
Filling needs and roles within the family e.g. a father figure, homework help
Gradually crossing physical boundaries, and becoming increasingly intimate/sexual
Use of secrecy, blame, and threats to maintain control
Sharing sexualised material
Discussion of sexual topics, including telling dirty jokes (https://helpingsurvivors.org/grooming-warning-signs/)

**Just remember, “The goal of talking and being informed about these grooming behaviors is to strengthen your intuition and help you be on alert.” (https://defendinnocence.org)

Action:

This week (National Child Protection Week) is all about the ways that we can all work together to build communities that support children and families.

All adults can play a part by ‘tuning in’ to children in everyday situations about small worries; then they are much more likely to feel comfortable telling us if something big is wrong.

Talking with children about safety:

Support children to identify trusted adults (both within the family and outside) they can talk to, if they are worried, upset, or don’t feel safe. Make sure these adults know they are on your child’s list.
Remind children that they can talk to you or a trusted adult about anything, no matter how big or small their worry might be.
Talk to children about how they know when they feel safe or unsafe. Help them to listen to their early warning signs (how their body feels), and to trust their feelings and instincts.
Use everyday activities as opportunities for conversations (e.g. preparing meals and snacks, going for walks, playing, shopping). If children are used to having lots of communication, it can make it easier to talk when big or tricky issues come up.
Be open to talking about all kinds of feelings, including anger, joy, frustration, fear and anxiety. This helps children to develop a ‘feelings vocabulary’.

National Child Protection Week is a great time to start conversations with children and families about feeling safe.

Source: https://www.napcan.org.au/articles-for-use-in-newsletters/